Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build
me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use
your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five
bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can
be easily added or deleted.
When you bring the blueprints
to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring
me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily
pick one.
Keep in mind that the
house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently
living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies
that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when
I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation
in them).
As you design, also keep
in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible.
This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum,
vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum,
be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that
modern design practices and the latest materials are ussed in construction
of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date
ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that the kitchen should be
designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are
building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that
you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law
will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed,
since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh
all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I,
however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me
with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans
for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it
is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However,
keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at
this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself.
Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications.
Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be
under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing
this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later
I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal
to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you
finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in
my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to
run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last year. We
like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like
in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful
engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house
without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete
set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real
design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised,
however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction
costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to
be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use
the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in
your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me
as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just
told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given
you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve
these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to
accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have
to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need
is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon
as possible if this is the case.
