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Fresh From the Parietal Lobe

How did it come to this?
For one thing, I'm not quite sure where exactly this is, being here in Maryland waiting for the snow to fall, or not. Snow drives Marylanders into a panic, sending them hurtling onto the various highways and byways so they can drive 20 miles per hour to the nearest grocery store to clean it out of milk, bread, and toilet paper.
There was an ice storm in January 1994. Schools were closed for nearly two weeks. Being a senior at the time, I didn't have to make up any of the snow days. Others were not so lucky.
First it snowed for a little while, leaving about six inches of flaky H2O on the ground. The snow then transmogrified into freezing rain, coating most sidewalks with a six inch layer of ice through which it was impossible to clear walkways. Since kids couldn't walk to the bus stop, schools closed. I was happy, although I did have to watch my nine year old sister at the time.
During one of the early days of the ice storm, when most people were stuck at home playing Parcheesi, I decided to go for a walk. It seemed to be a good idea somehow that I apply for a job at a dollar store in the local mall (two miles away on foot). No buses were running, so I walked there. I must have fallen 128 times walking each way, but I did make it to the dollar store (somehow it was open). I applied for a job and never heard anything else about it. They must have thought I was nuts to go walking in that weather.
By the time I got home, I had a black eye, numerous cuts and bruises, and a frozen scarf. My mother freaked out, thinking that I'd been mugged, but in reality I just took a number of bad falls. In retrospect, maybe the black eye was showing at the mall. I was a large teenager at the time and my innocent dance with death may have been misinterpreted as native brigandry. Who knows.
At any rate, I explained to my mother, scion of wisdom that she is, that I had just gone for a walk and applied for a job at the mall. She still thought I was nuts for going on such an extended journey under the current conditions (sidewalks frozen solid, air temperature hovering around four degrees below zero, etc). I had just moved in with her, though, so she didn't really know my wayward ways. I'd hear similar things when I'd arrive in the late hours of the night after spending my time in Montgomery County at a chess tournament, or in Fells Point drinking coffee. That kind of concerned parenting was new to me, although I had a different kind of concerned parenting in the past that I missed sorely at the time.
...
I was lurking on an internet newsgroup about Transformers when I noticed a local pissing contest between a 15 year old boy and another user (age unknown, but likely close to mine). The other user was concerned that the 15 year old was stalking him. The 15 year old was acting like a snot-nosed punk since the other user annoyed the hell out of him. Both of them were out of line. I threw in some words of wisdom and made reference to kitbashing a revolver into a modern-day Megatron. Curiously, no one picked up on this, except to the extent that they praised me for my even-tempered approach to the situation. I was hoping someone would question me about the gun kitbash. I don't own a gun.
I found the whole argument/pissing contest to be amusing and beside the point. Then again, perhaps that is the point. I don't know, nor do I care.
Work has been interesting. I can tell already that my instinct to lead has come out to play. I'm waiting for it to ruffle some feathers, but so far people seem to recognize that I have it in me to be a leader. That may work out well. From my point of view (scarred, of course), I think I'm doing pretty well. We'll see how that goes when I put a Decepticon insignia on my name badge, thereby declaring my alliance with evil.
One day the house of cards is going to fall on top of me. I don't know when, maybe sooner, maybe later, but it will happen. When the time comes, I hope to go out like a G.
My local liquor store has started carrying Private Stock again at my request. They only brought in the 40 ounce size, but that was fine by me. Cheap and tasty. I like such things, especially in the cold dead nights of winter, sittin' on my stoop, pullin' at a brown bagged 4-0. That's not as fun as it sounds when the temperature is below 40, but it's just cool to be able to do such things and not have to worry about drive-by shootings. My neighborhood is quiet that way.