GAN had recruited 12 people now, some of them didn't speak English, he had included his mom, his dog and the girl he liked at school in the squadron. But all that was irrelivant; GAN knew he was the best, and, since he *was* the Grand Admiral, it must carry down to his squadron. GAN decided he would use all their votes, to keep the beauty of democracy how it should be, i.e. what he wanted. He'd also decided he should call a meeting of his squadron in the Imperial Outpost (a daring rebel raid) and had prepared a speech:
CRAP_GA_Newbie> CRAZY REBEL AGRESSOR PURPLE HAS GROWN STRONG. SOON WE WILL CRUSH THE
Moron> How do I change my name??
CRAP_Wedge> Where's our webpage??
CRAP_GA_Newbie> ZONE AND WE WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS A REALLY GOOD SQUADRON THEN WE WILL
CRAP_R2> Do I need the CD in to play?
CRAP_Viper546783> Join Game 3!!!
CRAP_GA_Newbie> SHUT UP!! I'M MAKING A SPEECH!!
CRAP_Inept> What does rank mean?
CRAP_Newguy> Who are you guys???
CRAP_Wedge> WHERE IS OUR WEBPAGE???? TELL ME OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!
CRAP_GA_Newbie> YOU BASTARDS, I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!
The meeting didn't end well, 3 people resigned, one person got really upset and called for their mom, who banned them from the internet forever. Of the remaining members, 1 person didn't know how to change his name and another worked for Zone technical support, so there was no hope of finding out how to do anything. GAN figured that threatening to behead the whole squadron and kill their firstborn son was a little extreme so he decided to unite the squadron with a WAR!
Starting a war would be difficult. GAN was well aware of how much CRAP was feared and respected on the Zone, he would just have to goad someone foolish enough to take on his squadron into a fight. It would take all GAN's wit and cunning to mentally back them into a corner and force them to declare war, knowing it to be suicidal. The prospects of success looked dim, but GAN was never one to let the odds put him off, he was a man of action a man of principle, a man worried about the growing of hair under his arms and in other places.
(Enter)>CRAP_GA_Newbie
_SST_Raiden> Oh....shit.
DSN_CrazyDude> Woohoo! Newbie time, this guy is almost as dumb as UPA!
CRAP_GA_Newbie> YOU ALL KNOW HOW CRAP IS THE GREATEST SQUADRON ON THE ZONE, WHO'S BRAVE ENOUGH TO TAKE US ON?
_SST_Raiden> LOL
DSN_Space_Dust_> Hahaha!!
CRAP_GA_Newbie> HA, SST YOU FOOL! PREPARE FOR WAR!
_SST_Raiden> Sure, wanna die now or would you rather watch Barney first?
DSN_CrazyDude> Hehe, what a bastard. =)
CRAP_GA_Newbie> YOU TOO DSN!!!!
EF_Flitter> lol
CRAP_GA_Newbie> AND YOU EF!! CRAP WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!
TFA_Beowulf> How about me?
(Exit)> TFA_Beowulf
(Enter)> WLF_Beowulf
WLF_Beowulf> and me
(Exit)> WLF_Beowulf
(Enter)> DOH_Beowulf
DOH_Beowulf> Yeah, and me too
CRAP_GA_Newbie> STOP IT, I CAN'T WRITE DOWN THESE NAMES IN TIME!!!
_SST_Raiden> My pet fish wants a war too
CRAP_GA_Newbie> YOU BASTARDS, I'LL...
EF_Flitter> Let me guess,you'll kill us all, right?
(Exit)> CRAP_GA_Newbie
Yes, those fools, they had played right into GAN's trap and they would pay, all of them. With only a quick pause to see how many "R's" you spell "War" with, GAN proceeded to make the necessary arrangements. He emailed all his squad members, at least the ones who knew what their email address, after forwarding the 2 emails, he proceeded to find all the other squadrons messageboards. 18 hours later he had gone to every site on Geocities but had not found their webpages. Those idiots didn't even have pages! This would almost be too easy....
But how does one conduct a war? GAN looked in his local bookstore and couldn't find any "Idiot's guide to starting a war" books. He asked at the counter but they just gave him a funny look and asked him if he was on any medication. The AOL guy had asked the same, and his mom kept telling him if he kept using the curtains as a cloak and calling his dad "Yoda" then she would take him to see a special doctor. All this talk of medicine worried him not though, he had his destiny to carry out, even if it meant risking his health.
Again GAN turned to his clever friend who had helped him before and asked him how to start a war. He was told that most wars in the 20th century were started by an assassination. GAN thought he would assasinate DSN_CrazyDude, as he was the one who laughed at him the most. He asked how he could do this and was told the most effective way of doing it was by use of a sniper rifle. GAN tried to put an ad in the local paper but when he asked if he could have a half page ad reading "Sniper rifle required for assasination and to start a war" they told him he couldn't. GAN would have to find another way....
Will Dude survive the attempts of GAN? Will CRAP rule the Zone? Well, obviously not, but I bet you haven't even imagined just HOW badly GAN can fuck this up, find out next week.