Guide to Pronouncing "Mordechai Tsvi Abzug"

"Mordechai"

This is Persian for "deer" (or so I'm told.)
1. Start with "Bach" (as in Johann Sebastian, the great composer.)
2. Next, say "Ba-chai," as two syllables.
3. Now, just say "chai." This should nearly rhyme with "pie," except that the "ai" is pronounced like the "ai" in "aisle." Incidentally, "chai" is a Hebrew word meaning life (and unrelated to the meaning of my name.) It also has the numerical value of 18.
4. Say deh-chai. If you really want to be accurate, try saying "d'chai." The "d'" is said as though it were a half syllable: not a full "deh-chai" but more than "dchai."
5. The first syllable may be pronounced just like the English "more," so you can now say: "MORE-deh-chai," emphasis on the first syllable.
6. But if you decided to be really accurate before, then you may wish to say: "muhr" for the first syllable instead. Unfortunately, I can't come up with an English analog, but "muhr" is the basic idea. Also, if you pronounce these parts correctly, you should emphasize the last syllable (which is also the second): "muhr-d'CHAI."

   "Tsvi"

   This is Hebrew for "deer."

7. Start with "pizza."
8. Next, just say the "zza" part.
9. Now form a consonant blend: take the "zz" sound and follow it with "vee," to form "tsvee." This is like the "str" or the "ngth" in "strength."
10. You now have "Tsvi." It should rhyme with "lee" (as in "Robert E. Lee")
11. If you really want to be accurate, "Tsvi" should be pronounced not as a consonant blend, but as a half-syllable ("ts'vi") somewhere between the blend "tsvi" and the two syllable "tsi-vi."

    "Abzug"

    I have no idea what this means.

12. Start with "dab."
13. Cut out the "d."
14. You have "ab."
15. Now, take "book."
16. Say "zook," replacing the "b" with a "z."
17. Change the "k" to a "g."
18. Put them together, emphasizing the "ab." You now have "AB-zug."