If you're not root, get ahold of Netcat, compile it with -DGAPING_SECURITY_HOLE (because it *is* a gaping security hole), and run:
(while true; do nc -l -p 8080 -e bash-httpd; done)&
or the like. If you don't understand any part of these instructions, you probably shouldn't be running it. If any harm comes to you or your computer because you ran this software, don't blame me: I don't recommend that *anyone* run it.
You're welcome. :)